When the unexpected happens, is it time to panic?
Like losing your job after only 10-weeks, as recently happened to me!
Panic certainly feels natural as the many thoughts and emotions cloud any clear thinking I should be doing.
Emotions can easily get the better of us but they rarely help the situation.
An exercise that I found useful was the Drowning Person illustration.
One thought staying in my mind was the feeling of drowning. That sinking feeling, being pulled down by what happened. I wanted to counteract the downwards direction with anything positive to pull me up.
The Drowning Person illustration is used in Transactional Analysis. Developed by Adrienne Lee, it shows how early life beliefs and “injunctions” can limit a person’s ability to live a fulfilling life, like someone struggling to stay afloat in the water.
The picture seemed to suit my situation, I clearly pictured myself in the water being pulled down and wanted to remember things in my life to lift me safely to shore.
Here’s the outcome…
I started with the immediate concerns that were pulling me down in the water:
- financial concerns – how long can I survive to pay the cost of living?
- embarrassment – having never had a unsuccessful probation period before I’ve been embarrassed to admit it
- seen as a failure – what will people think of me only keeping a job for 10-weeks?
- not good enough – imposter syndrome kicked in. Are there certain limits in my abilities?
- uncertainty – from starting to get stability of a having job to now not knowing when the next paycheck will come in
- anger – being honest, there is anger and frustration, this was unexpected and I certainly didn’t like how this happened
It felt good getting these out and written down on paper – that in itself was a release!
Next I looked things in my life that are positive, the balloons, to lift me up:
- family & friends – I find true support, care, and love from those near to me, it’s been a real blessing
- my faith – this gives me a solid foundation that grounds me in every situation, God is in control
- proven experience – with the growth I’ve had throughout my career in the tech industry I know my capabilities and where my strengths are
- being true to self – I always want the best for people and I’m not afraid to speak up (respectfully, of course!)
- help others – having been through experience I can help others in the same situation, or help others avoid it
- direction change – however unpleasant this is, it’s only a small blip, but it may bring about a new future direction (it gave me hope thinking about it)
- more time for coaching – leadership coaching is one of my strengths
- opportunity to play golf again – ok, every silver lining ⛳️
Going through this process lifted me up out of the water and showed me the many things I can be thankful for.
It’s easy to be bitter about unpleasant experiences we go through. We often dwell on negatives and catastrophize situations that only block our way forward.
This might be a useful exercise to use with your clients in any unexpected times.
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